Friday, September 26, 2014

When nobody understands your pain or sickness... Part II


Once you have done what was suggested in the first blog entry, I suggest that the next step is to get help. Get all the help that you need/can afford, even if the help does not include family and friends. Get a psychologist to deal with the anxiety and the mental issues that arise from your disappointment or anger. Get a real medical (and natural inclining) Doctor(s) that understands your condition or is able to do extensive tests to know exactly what is wrong with you, give you the right diagnosis and the way to handle it. Get a physical therapist or a massage therapist. Basically get all the help that you need and can afford. If it means you need to go at it alone, then do so.

If you allow your disappointment and anger to fester, it can keep you in inaction. Inaction will make you sicker, or it may kill you. Even if nobody in your inner circle accepts nor understands what you are going through, it doesn't give you the excuse to do nothing about your life and health. Yes you have the right to feel what you want to feel and so on and so forth, but at some point you need to move on with your life and get better. Inaction will not help you and if no one in your family will help you, you still have yourself and others in the world and find the help that you need.

Once you find the help that you need, work it out. Work it out and do what you can to be as healthy as you can be. Adjust your attitude with the help that you have available. Start practicing gratitude. Gratitude that you have people helping you, gratitude that you are still alive and that you are able to pursue health. During this time, you would probably experience a lot of changes in your behavior and in your inner self. If patience is something that increases within you (and especially if those around you care enough to ask), teach them what is wrong with you, and what the symptoms are, what to expect and what you are doing about it. If their acceptance is still important to you, then tell them so and if you do need their help somewhat then ask them for it.

Those around you that love and cherish you will (begin to) understand and seek to help you. Those that cannot manage the compassion nor the patience to care about your needs you need to decide if they need to be in your life. It is easier to get rid of an uncaring or greedy Doctor or stranger as I said in the last post, but it may not be so easy for a family member or a close friend. However, even if it is limiting contact with certain people, I strongly suggest that you cut away people that are negative or that make you sick or worry or anxious and surround yourself with the most positive people that are available to you.

There are times when you are going to have to be selfish and say no. Say no to people who demand too much from you or expect too much from you that for as long as you are trying to heal yourself. you cannot do nor accomplish what they want. They may not understand why you are saying no, even if you explain why. If they see you walking around and not coughing up a lung, they may still not understand it, those belong in the list of people that you may have to cut from your life (even if temporarily).

When it comes to children, you are going to have to exempt them because as kids even teens their ignorance and their misunderstanding of your pain and sickness is to be expected. PLEASE do not give them responsibilities that go beyond their capabilities or their age. Don't treat them as spouses nor nurses nor therapists (especially if you are a single parent). Do what you can to protect them, and also educate them. You can of course depend on them when it is appropriate to do so (allowing you to nap if you need it for example and ask them to be quiet during a specific time and place). This is really important when it comes to getting help. Especially if you cannot rely on family and close friends, finding help when it comes to the kids is essential.

Hopefully this was helpful. If you are in constant pain and you are going through a illness, please know that given up is the last thing that you should do. You are a strong human being and deserving of the best health that you can have. Be well and do well and surround yourself with light and good energy.

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